Save the Planet...pull my finger

I was studying this little map showing how we bad old Americans were destroying the planet with our SUVs, cow farts and BBQ’s, when I noted that the two fastest growing industrialized countries on the planet India and Mainland China were clean and green. It made me a tad curious, so I started to think a bit and after watching one of the History Channel’s “Oh My GOD We are All Going to Die!!! Because (add esoteric world ending scenario here)” shows, I think I know why.
The show I watched was the one about super-volcanoes ,and the particular was about Toba which popped off about 75,000 years ago ( I am surprised that fundamentalist Christian groups have not threatened to blow-up the cable company over that bit of info since we all know that the Earth is 5287 years old….oh scratch that…If they did they would miss NASCAR)

and caused a massive cool down that triggered the last Ice Age (minus the lovable digitally animated critters.
add whole lot of really cold cavemen). The reason old Toba made the temp go down, was that along with 670 cubic miles of what would one day be Sumatra (land of kopi luwat http://www.animalcoffee.com/ , coffee crapped by civet cats) it pumped out 10 to the 10 million metric tons of sulfur dioxide into the stratosphere that essentially worked like your new blinds to keep out the sunlight.


Where am I going with this well both China (bad Mainland Communist makers of damned near every thing you can buy at Wal-Mart, not Taiwan or THE Republic of China, makers of almost all LCD TV screens and receivers of nuclear detonators accidentally ...wink…wink..) and India (solvers of all software glitches and all apparently named Dave) have about 3 billion people between them and a huge part of their diets are made up of cabbage (China) and beans (India). So when you have 3 billion people all pumping around a cubic yard of sulfur dioxide out of their collective star fishes every day; well that just about takes care of all those pesky green house gasses don’t it?*
the job of saving the planet…stinks.

So essentially our planet’s climate is being maintained by a thick cloud of air-biscuits that floats between us and Al Gore’s wet dream, so have another plate of curried lentils with an egg roll on the side for God’s sake! Do it for the children!

This makes as much sense as Al Gore does.


They call me
JimmyD



* This scientific theory is based on computer projections and is therefore as well thought out as Global Warming or Climate Change or Silent Spring or Population Bomb or Obama’s(aside, you know my spellchecker keeps wanting to write that as Osama…Tee-Hee) presidential platform and therefore it should be treated with as much respect and garner as much grant money as all of the previously mentioned ploys… ahem… I mean theories.