I feel like Keith Olbermann

I really do, I have excitement going up my leg and everything. I am a swoon with Governor Palin, and the best thing about it is that it is unlike Keith and his man crush, it is from a signal from my fore-brain rather than in his case some disturbing epiphany resulting from sitting in a department store Santa’s lap for just a bit too long. I really, really like her. She represents the America that I like to believe in, one that says there is no shame in working and getting dirty. I want an America that keys on that whole “Pursuit of Happiness” thing, and then essentially leaves me the hell alone. I do not want Uncle Sugar to be my daddy or my mommy and I sure as Russian expansionism do not want Uncle Sugar to be my pimp.

I have known quite a few “elites” in my life, hell I was technically born one, albeit one of a very petty and regional nature. I have hob knobbed with Ivy leaguers and “brain trust” characters, asides from their inability to show their top teeth when talking and their absolute belief that everything would be “peachy” if the riff-raff would only bow to their superior breeding and education, they have their pants put on them by their “trusted” servants one leg at a time just like I do, well except for the whole “servant” thing. I have known that special class of military officer whose commission came to them via a four-year stay at service academy, just like their father’s did. These guys are at least a hoot when you break out the liquor; of course, they are rather hard on the glassware due to the constant clanking of their giant class rings. I have also found myself in the presence of that peculiar animal known as a career politician, more times than I care to remember. They smile constantly and I mean they grin like possums in persimmon trees, showing acres of blindingly white perfectly regimented dentition. They are big on bonhomie displays; man, they always want to touch you. They shake your hand and won’t let go, then when that long awkward moment is over they sidle up to you and slap you on the back, this is where it is a wise move to check your wallet. They talk a great deal about “the future”, they even look at it when they talk about it; I have determined that “the future” is always located about six inched up and to the right of my eyes. Their “future” must be a marvelous place, but I must warn you never ask when this “future” will become the present, alas, the distance is always after the next election, and for those poor politicians that have run afoul of some sort of term limitation it is always two years beyond that immobile date. That at least explains why Presidents always want to talk about “10 year plans”. So you see I am used to these particular types who develop that “need to lead”.


I have also had the rare pleasure to be around people are moving forward through life and will lead if necessary but would really rather to do their own thing, they could be called entrepreneurs. These folks are great to be around, they tend to dress casually, and their degrees if they have them tend to come from schools that have a State’s name somewhere in them. They are a hoot to have a drink or two with as well but they are also quite a bit of fun with nothing stronger than a soft drink presented in its original container. They smile quite a lot also though their teeth while generally clean they tend to show less strict attention to perfect placement. They talk about the future as well, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year and when they say I am going to do “X” they mention the date they intend to do it. These people can also be scene doing the most mundane things and no one feels the need to preserve this moment for posterity by taking hundred of photographs. They take out the garbage, go to the grocery store to buy toilet paper and even pump gas into their own late model vehicles. I tend to like these folks, call me snob if you must.


This is why I really, really like Palin, good looks and current official title aside, I have no trouble imagining her doing the same kind of things I do. I cannot for the life of me see myself standing in a cashier’s line at the local convenience store with Barak or Joe conversing about the weather. I also find it extremely difficult to imagine such a scenario with McCain. Governor Palin is much more like me than any of the other candidates on any ticket aside from being rather attractive, successful, intelligent, ( did I mention attractive?) female that is. I know that she knows what it actually takes to be an American today; it takes a lot of work. I don’t give a rat’s rectum about her gender, what I do care about is that if she is near the POTUS, there would be at least one person around him in a position of power that knows how to personally balance a check book. That she is also hot as a fourth of July firecracker has nothing to do with why I really, really like her as McCain’s choice of VPOTUS. I think I will swoon now, somebody go fetch the smelling salts from Keith Olbermann’s office, but for the love of hygiene leave any tissues you find strewn around there alone.